She was so convinced that she did not have any Confidence, She stated her lack of Confidence with such Confidence!

The loss of confidence is, or can be, one of the most debilitating experiences of the human condition.

Sometimes, it is the result of a cataclysmic event in our life, the loss of a loved one, divorce, redundancy, an abusive relationship, bullying ect......... sometimes a result of our early years and perhaps being exposed to relationship difficulties within the family unit...................

But, whatever the cause, confidence is as much a basic need as is breathing. Being confident is a life supporting part of the human condition. If we are confident we can better support our physical and emotional needs. Our mind and body is better balanced. We have less conflict between ourselves and others; in general we suffer less stress, are more relaxed and find life less threatening.

Whether you feel you have lost your confidence or felt you never had it in the first place; you can learn to have confidence in all areas of your life.

Being confident in the process of living and being is one of the most fulfilling experiences we can possess!

Remember: Life is Beautiful and the world is a wonderful place. And you have the basic right to take your place in it!

Some symptoms that can be experienced by people lacking in confidence may result from: relationship difficulties or dysfunctional thinking, trauma, stress and many other causes.

We can have feelings of low self- esteem (perhaps as a result of being criticised, bullied, and rejected) and we may perpetuate these messages by judging ourselves and others harshly. We try to cover up our poor opinions of ourselves by being perfectionistic, controlling, contemptuous and gossipy.  We tend to isolate ourselves, out of fear, and we  often feel uneasy around other people, especially authority figures.

We are desperate for love and approval and will do anything to make people like us. Not wanting to hurt others, we remain "loyal" in situations and relationships even when evidence indicates our loyalty is undeserved.

We are intimidated by angry people and personal criticism. This causes us to feel inadequate and insecure. (I would say it further adds to our feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.)

We live life as victims, blaming others for our circumstances, and are often attracted to other victims (and people with power) as friends and lovers. We confuse love with pity and tend to "love" people we can pity and rescue. (And we confuse love with need)

We are either super-responsible or super-irresponsible. We take responsibility for solving others' problems or expect others to be responsible for solving ours. This enables us to avoid being responsible for our own lives and choices.

We feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves or act in our own best interests. We give in to others' needs and opinions instead of taking care of ourselves.

We deny, minimise or repress our feelings as a result of our trauma. We are unaware of the impact that our inability to identify and express our feelings has had on our adult lives.

We are dependent personalities, who are so terrified of rejection or abandonment that we tend to stay in situations or relationships that are harmful to us. Our fears and dependency stop us from ending unfulfilling relationships and prevent us from entering into fulfilling ones. (I would add because we may feel so unlovable it is difficult or impossible to believe anyone can really love us, and will eventually leave us once they see how "bad" we really are.)

Denial, isolation, control, shame, and inappropriate guilt can be legacies from our family or peers. As a result of these symptoms, we can feel hopeless and helpless.

We can have difficulty with intimacy, security, trust, and commitment in our relationships. Lacking clearly defined personal limits and boundaries, we become enmeshed in relationships of all kinds.

We tend to procrastinate and have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.

Whilst it is common for people to have the perception, of having no confidence; it is very rare for this to be the case. In reality, people often lack confidence in certain areas of their life. This can be the result of, a lack of experience or no knowledge of the subject, or, the result of a bad experience(s)!

Confidence is both possible and highly desirable; don’t allow this life limiting condition to rob you of the opportunities that life has to offer!

Call Thom NOW for a FREE Consultation, Tel: 989 103 47